feel-good rant

now firstly, let me clarify the title of this 'lil lecture of mine. by feel-good, i mean it will make me feel good. you (hopefully) will feel bad, awful, terrible, horrible, so much so, i dearly hope, that you will take a chance on the strength of masking tape and hang yourself from the monkey bars at the play-park.

how like you. even in death, you have to smear your misfortunes all over my face, and leave your corpse in public. even in death, you need attention, you need support, you need, you NEED AND NEED AND NEED.

to use a mystifying metaphor, you are a human vacuum-cleaner. i'll let you work that one out for yourself, but let me save you the trouble of thinking (wouldn't that be another first for you), it has a double meaning. yes, a double meaning. that implies some subtlety, a concept that you wouldn't assimilate if it was surgically implanted into you. it wouldn't be the only surgery you need.

now let us move on to the concept of a hint. a hint is a indication of a feeling, or want that someone expressly subtly in order to spare your feelings (and in sparing your feelings, sparing themselves a lot of wasted time).

let us move to an example of a hint. when somebody hangs the phone up on you mid-conversation, SIX TIMES IN A SINGLE EVENING, that is a hint.

you are so painstakingly needy, boring and pathetic that gandhi himself would strangle you with your own pigtails after an evening in your company. people who are in the same elevator as you, moving from floor 1 to the ground floor, willingly stick their own heads in the closing elevator doors than endure a second of your incessant, irrelevant, repetitive, whining over this, and that, and the other.

in conclusion, your grip on reality is so tenuous, so loose that i could scream this from your own rooftop, and you wouldn't notice the repeated and obvious references to yourself.

best wishes for your untimely and painful demise.